There are many lessons in life that you can share with other people and the only reason I’m sharing these lessons with you is because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made. You see even before that popular TV show Friends became all the rage, people in my social circles have already developed fuckbuddies. In fact it’s an open secret that half the female friends guys in my social circle had were also sex partners.
It seems that this was the way to go especially in the San Francisco Bay area. It seems that in the graduate school that I was in, a fuckbuddy was a status symbol. It was kind of an open secret. Of course people were still discreet. It’s not like you’re walking down the street and you yell to the chick that you’re banging on the side and say, “Hey, what’s up? Fuckbuddy.” You don’t do that. I mean, come on. But everybody knew that this was the name of the game.
Well, I tried my hand at that. I mean I had friends and then I had women I called for booty calls. And to me a fuckbuddy is somebody that occupies the middle ground so my lesson to you involves my attempts at turning my existing female friend into a fuckbuddy. Well, let me fast forward to the ending: it ended badly. Seriously. Why? I considered her a really good friend. I mean this was a woman that would give me encouragement when I was feeling down. This was a woman that would get up in the middle of the night, get some coffee and just go over to my place because I’m cramming for a test and she wanted to keep my company and I’m not banging her. She was just being a friend.
And the moment I tried to turn her into a fuckfriend things started to get weird. I mean we fucked each other and we were still friends but it started becoming more physical and less emotional. Eventually it didn’t work out. Eventually she was out of my life, and to this day, I feel sorry about that experience because I lost the most precious thing any person could ever have in their short lives. What is the most precious asset you could ever come across: a real friend. A friend that would bite the bullet for you. A friend that would lay down her life for you. That’s how rare she was and I threw it away because I wanted a fuckbuddy. So learn from my lesson.
The lesson if you are not clear about it is simple: don’t turn existing friends into fuckbuddies. Okay? You can have a fuckbuddy but you develop that friend from the get-go. From the beginning, as a potential fuckbuddy, you make it clear to them that there might be physical elements in the future. If they are cool with that and you’re cool with it and the friendship does develop that way then you’re good to go. If it develops into a purely platonic direction that’s a victory as well. But never mix the two. Never turn a platonic friend into a fuckfriend. That’s just asking for it.